


Forgiveness

by commandershakarian



Series: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic [5]
Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Kotor 2 - Freeform, dark pasts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:24:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandershakarian/pseuds/commandershakarian
Summary: The Jedi Exile helps Atton forgive himself for his dark past, perhaps helping herself in the process.
Relationships: Female Jedi Exile/Atton "Jaq" Rand, The Jedi Exile/Atton "Jaq" Rand
Series: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/698912
Kudos: 7





	Forgiveness

Atton was avoiding her.

After their talk earlier in the week, he’d been distant. Revealing his past hadn’t just been difficult for him to talk about, but it forced him to recall the awful things he’d done. Wren knew how difficult that was, especially when there was so much about the past you wanted to forget.

Wren pulled apart the braid she kept her hair in, running her fingers through the strands to get the knots out. Humming under her breath, she made her way to the crew's quarters, intending to bury herself in blankets and sleep for the next day or so. If anyone bothered her, she might strand them on a planet for a few days just to get some peace.

The thought brought a smile to her face as she entered the room, pausing a moment later when she noticed that the room wasn’t empty.

Atton was sitting on the floor, his back to her, the jacket he usually wore laying on the bed beside him. It was obvious that he hadn’t noticed her entrance. She leaned against the wall, watching him with quiet interest. He was tinkering with something on the floor, unaware of his surroundings. In any other situation, it would have been dangerous to be so engrossed, but the ship was safe. It was home.

Wren admired him from a distance, his chestnut hair falling in his face as he concentrated on whatever he was doing. His arms were strong under the thin white shirt he wore, his back flexing with each movement he made. She’d enjoyed Atton’s company these past months, his wit and charm a nice change from the strict Jedi she was accustomed to. He always got into some kind of trouble, but that’s what made traveling with him interesting. 

And fun.

A moment more passed before she shuffled her feet slightly, causing the smallest noise to catch his attention without startling him. He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes widening at the sight of her. “How long have you been there?”

Wren crossed the room to stand beside him, finally getting a look at what he was working on. It was an old blaster… one that probably hadn’t worked in years. 

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Atton averted his gaze, staring at the blaster in his hands instead. “That’s not true.”

Wren sighed, sitting beside him on the cold floor. Crossing her legs, she placed her hands on her knees, watching as he struggled to find something to say. Even without her connection to the Force, the Jedi could feel the uncertainty, the struggle that Atton was battling inside. It wasn’t a secret what this was about. “Atton- you’ve done nothing wrong.”

Finally, he glanced up, his hazel eyes haunted. It hurt to see how his past tormented him. “How can you say that? After everything I’ve done… the Jedi I’ve hurt… All because I was angry.” His hands shook as he put the blaster on the ground, his work forgotten in their conversation. “What if you’d been one of those Jedi, Wren? What if you hadn’t joined Revan and I… I hurt you?”

His eyes were pleading with her for comfort, for the truth, but Wren knew that nothing she said would completely satisfy him. He believed himself a monster and maybe he was… perhaps they both were. The war against the Mandalorians had corrupted something in both of their souls. Irreparably damaged them.

But maybe they could heal one another.

“Thankfully, we never have to worry about what if. Because right now, you are here with me and you-” Wren hesitated before taking his hands between her own, feeling him stiffen at her sudden touch. Squeezing lightly, she found the strength to continue. “You mean a lot to me, Atton. The past doesn’t matter.”

“It should.” Atton pulled away from her, although unwillingly. It was clear that her touch brought him peace.

Reaching out, she pressed her fingers against his shirt, touching the place where his heart lay. “This is what matters and I know your heart, Atton. You’re a good man.”

Atton covered her hand with his own, pressing it against his chest. The shirt was warm from his skin, his heart beating a steady rhythm beneath. He sighed, sounding defeated. “The things I’ve done… I shouldn’t be forgiven.”

“That means I shouldn’t either.”

Atton shook his head, but he didn’t pull from her touch this time. “You did what you had to to win a war. A war that needed winning. I _enjoyed_ hurting those Jedi.”

“You need to find it within to forgive yourself.” Wren moved closer, her dark hair brushing lightly against him. Taking her free hand, she gently touched his jaw, prompting him to look into her eyes. “Because no matter what you’ve done, the man I see sitting in front of me is not the same man. He’s kind and honest and willing to sacrifice himself for others.”

“Don’t tell anyone.” He joked, the tiniest of smiles touching his lips. “Kreia might wither from the thought.”

“And-” Wren continued, smiling at the interruption. “That is the man I am in love with.”

Atton stared at her, processing the confession she’d just made. It hadn’t been made lightly. Wren knew what this would mean. Everything would change. 

“If it helps you make that leap, I forgive you, Atton.” Wren continued, not sure if she wanted him to speak. “I forgive you and maybe… maybe I can forgive myself too. One day.”

Atton shook off the shock, a smile taking over his entire face. “I don’t- uh, what I mean to say- oh kriff it.” 

He closed the gap between them, lips pressed against hers in a kiss that Wren could only describe as feverish. All of the passion, unspoken words and feelings, and of course the pain that tinged both of their souls, came pouring out in that kiss. Atton tangled his hands in her hair, his tongue tracing the inside of her mouth. Wren gripped his shoulders, feeling the muscles clench beneath her touch. Wherever her fingers touched him felt like fire, her repressed passion roaring back to life after what felt like an eternity of coldness.

Atton pulled away too soon, breathing heavily against her skin as he buried his face in her neck. Her hands fluttered over his shoulders, his back, until she was clinging to him. He caught his breath enough to whisper “I love you” into the silence.

Wren smiled, his body pressed against hers, his embrace the safety she’d craved for so long. No matter what happened after, she wouldn’t regret trusting her heart.

She wouldn’t regret trusting Atton with her heart.


End file.
